Etiquette

Etiquette in addressing envelopes has changed a bit over the years. Nothing is set in stone, but here are some general rules to help you address your envelopes. They should be formally addressed but if you wish to be informal, I have listed this option.

Couples
Single Guests
Families with Children
Military
Miscellaneous

Couples

Married Couple

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Mr. and Mrs. David Miller	Mr. and Mrs. Miller	Alice and David

Unmarried couples not living together:
the only name on outer should be the person who lives at the address

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Miss Alice Smith	Miss Smith Mr. Miller	Alice and David

Unmarried couples living together

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Miss Alice Smith Mr. David Miller	Miss Smith Mr. Miller	Alice and David

Married Couple in which woman kept maiden name

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Ms. Alice Smith Mr. David Miller	Ms Smith Mr. Miller	Alice and David

Married Couple in which woman has hyphenated last name

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Mrs. Alice Smith-Miller Mr. David Miller	Mrs. Smith-Miller and Mr. Miller	Alice and David

Married Couple in which only the woman has a professional title

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Doctor Alice Miller Mr. David Miller	Doctor Miller Mr. Miller	Alice and David

Married Couple in which both are doctors

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Doctor Alice Miller Doctor David Miller or The Doctors Miller	The Doctors Miller	Alice and David

Married Couple in which both are doctors but with different last names

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Doctor Alice Smith Doctor David Miller	Doctor Smith Doctor Miller	Alice and David

Same sex couples:
list in alphabetical order by last name

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Mr. David Alberts Mr. Michael Roberts	Mr. Alberts Mr. Roberts	David and Michael

Single Guests

It is proper to use the name of the guest. If this is not possible, you may use “and guest”

Unmarried or divorced female

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Miss Alice Smith or Ms. Alice Smith	Miss Smith and Guest or Ms. Smith and Guest	Alice and Guest

Divorced woman who has kept married name (Simons)

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Mrs. Alice Simons or Ms. Alice Simons	Mrs. Simons and Guest or Ms. Simons and Guest	Alice and Guest

Widow:
Please speak with widow regarding guest as this is a sensitive issue

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Mrs. Alice Smith	Mrs. Smith and Guest	Alice and Guest

Families with children

Family with child under age 18:
Only list parents on outer envelope

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Mr. and Mrs. David Miller	Mr. and Mrs. Miller Amy (1 child) Amy and Joseph (2 + kids) List by age, oldest first	Alice and David Amy (1 child) Amy and Joseph (2 + kids) List by age, oldest first

Child age 18 + should have own invitation

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Miss Amy Miller	Miss Miller and Guest	Amy and Guest

Military

Commissioned officer

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Colonel and Mrs. David Miller	Colonel and Mrs. Miller	Alice and David

Non-commissioned officer or enlisted man

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Mr. and Mrs. David Miller	Mr. and Mrs. Miller	Alice and David

Retired commissioned officer

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Colonel and Mrs. David Miller	Mr. and Mrs. Miller	Alice and David

Woman only is a commissioned officer

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Mr. and Mrs. David Miller or Captain Alice Miller Mr. David Miller	Mr. and Mrs. Miller or Captain Miller and Mr. Miller	Alice and David

Miscellaneous

Judge

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
The Honorable and Mrs. David Miller	Judge and Mrs. Miller	Alice and David

Priest

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
The Right Reverend David Miller	Father Miller	David

Minister

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
The Reverend and Mrs. David Miller	The Reverend and Mrs. Miller	Alice and David

Rabbi

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Rabbi and Mrs. David Miller	Rabbi and Mrs. Miller	Alice and David

Cantor

Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope (formal)	Inner Envelope (informal)
Cantor and Mrs. David Miller	Cantor and Mrs. Miller	Alice and David